*cue superhero music*

Ladies and gents, I stand here before you today to gloat about the best thing that I have ever accomplished in my life.

(This may be the endorphins talking.)

Yes, this.

I would like to say to all my nay-sayers out there who often scoffed at my attempts to conquer the kitchen (including my mother and my grandmother): HA! HA, I SAY! IN. YOUR. FACE. 

Gotta admit, I've come a long way since my french-toasting days back in '09. 

Two housemates and I whipped up this batch of awesomeness today, reminiscent of Sri Lankan Devilled Chicken. We looked up the recipe online, made it our own, and had it with a dish of my recipe for mixed rice. 

I'm not just bragging when I say it was the most delicious thing I've had since landing in India since the summer holidays. And it was like tasting my aunty's amazing homemade food again. 

Surprisingly, it was really simple to make too. So for all you kitchen enthusiasts or students abroad who want a bite of home:

Serving - for 3 people

Instructions: 

1. Don't wear an apron. Aprons are for sissies.

2. First of all walk into the kitchen and point a spatula at the wall and say, 'I am here to conquer you, kitchen. And conquer, I shall!' and then point the spatula at the ceiling and cackle maniacally. Wear a metal pot on your head for additional dramatic effect. 

3. Then while 'Eye of the Tiger' plays through your earphones, arrange your utensils on the pantry table and say a prayer to the kitchen gods. 'May this dish turn out awesome, and may no frying oil fly out and hit me in the face. Amen.' 

4. Remove the metal pot from your head and get down to bizniz, nigga. 

Mixed rice

1. 2 cups of rice, 3 cups of water - put it in the cooker. 

2. After the rice is done (my small cooker takes 10 minutes) - don't take the rice out yet. Add 1 tsp Chilli Paste (gotta smuggle this from back home of course) and almost 1 tsp salt. Mix.

3. Add fresh raw chopped up capsicums and onions (2 peppers, 2 onions). Mix it like a boss and keep that pot closed for a while.

Devilled chicken

1. Make a yummy paste - of 5 red chillies, 3 peppercorns, 2 cloves, bit of turmuric, bit of cumin, small piece of cinnamon, 1/2 cardomom. Grind it up with a bit of water till it's really red and pastey. 

2. Cut the chicken (1/2 kg) into sizes of your liking, clean it, sprinkle a bit of salt and keep aside.

3. Fry some sliced onions. Add 1 tsp garlic and ginger paste. Add the RED PASTE you just made and fry for a few minutes.

4. Add the chicken to this mix, stir well and cook for about 5 minutes. Add tamarind juice and vinegar and cook for another 5-10 minutes, till you see a thin dynamite curry, and the chicken turns golden brown, tender and smells like heaven. 

Serve devilled chicken with the rice and try not to jizz from the ecstasy.